Writers Block and Other Stumbling Block Confessions.

I am writing this with a smile on my face as I reread the promises I made to you and myself back in January. I would like to be reporting that yes, I am a woman of my word and the first draft of the book is in the bag. I am now reminded of one of my blessed Mum’s favourite sayings, the one about “the road to hell” being” paved with good intentions.” For some inexplicable reason, she always uttered this in a deeply irish accent- she was born and bred in the North East of England.

I am resuming writing my blog after a three month sabbatical during which I have faced some of the toughest decisions in my life; consequences of the choices OH! continues to make that have tested my resilience to the hilt. Being a mother, these trials naturally affect my children; if I’ m going through the fire they are going through it with me. I can hear a song coming on, you know that one from High School Musical “We’re all in this Together.”

So just to make you all feel better about your writing procrastinations, I have a confession to make. I am still at chapter six of my book!!!

Thanks to the work that is being completed in me, this process is not so much writers block for me. My book at the moment is more like the butterfly above.

I can see it’s colours and patterns but it is in the middle of being transformed as the walls separating my spirit, mind and body are being dissolved and I am becoming new and whole.

The caterpillar has gone (you should have been there at my first creative writing classes. I am still in awe of the amazing  women who tolerated my mad ramblings and loved me anyway). To complete this transformation, I have had to  fight my way out of the chrysalis and shed my old skin. I needed to do this just to survive, let alone begin to fly away home.

This has been a profoundly spiritual journey for me in which I have been humbled again by what a faithful God he is, how he always keeps His promises to us. The extent to which my children and I are not just surviving but thriving is truly miraculous. From the word reconciliation, He led me straight to the word recovery which he explained to me as the ‘sober return to good health’. For the first time in my life I am truly trusting him and being obedient to his will for me. I have never felt so safe in my own skin and home despite Oh!’s sad decision not to join us in our journey to a healthier life.

Godincidently this transformation led me right back home to my parent’s favourite prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change,

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

I will be delighted to share some of my families recovery stories with you in the coming weeks. There is hope, dawn after the darkest nights and we are “all in this together.” You can even sing with me if you want -or at least hum.

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