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Writers Block and Other Stumbling Block Confessions.

May 23, 2012

I am writing this with a smile on my face as I reread the promises I made to you and myself back in January. I would like to be reporting that yes, I am a woman of my word and the first draft of the book is in the bag. I am now reminded of one of my blessed Mum’s favourite sayings, the one about “the road to hell” being” paved with good intentions.” For some inexplicable reason, she always uttered this in a deeply irish accent- she was born and bred in the North East of England.

I am resuming writing my blog after a three month sabbatical during which I have faced some of the toughest decisions in my life; consequences of the choices OH! continues to make that have tested my resilience to the hilt. Being a mother, these trials naturally affect my children; if I’ m going through the fire they are going through it with me. I can hear a song coming on, you know that one from High School Musical “We’re all in this Together.”

So just to make you all feel better about your writing procrastinations, I have a confession to make. I am still at chapter six of my book!!!

Thanks to the work that is being completed in me, this process is not so much writers block for me. My book at the moment is more like the butterfly above.

I can see it’s colours and patterns but it is in the middle of being transformed as the walls separating my spirit, mind and body are being dissolved and I am becoming new and whole.

The caterpillar has gone (you should have been there at my first creative writing classes. I am still in awe of the amazing  women who tolerated my mad ramblings and loved me anyway). To complete this transformation, I have had to  fight my way out of the chrysalis and shed my old skin. I needed to do this just to survive, let alone begin to fly away home.

This has been a profoundly spiritual journey for me in which I have been humbled again by what a faithful God he is, how he always keeps His promises to us. The extent to which my children and I are not just surviving but thriving is truly miraculous. From the word reconciliation, He led me straight to the word recovery which he explained to me as the ‘sober return to good health’. For the first time in my life I am truly trusting him and being obedient to his will for me. I have never felt so safe in my own skin and home despite Oh!’s sad decision not to join us in our journey to a healthier life.

Godincidently this transformation led me right back home to my parent’s favourite prayer

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can’t change,

the courage to change the things I can

and the wisdom to know the difference.

I will be delighted to share some of my families recovery stories with you in the coming weeks. There is hope, dawn after the darkest nights and we are “all in this together.” You can even sing with me if you want -or at least hum.

5 Comments leave one →
  1. May 23, 2012 11:25 am

    Dearest Sarah, on our Sacred Journey, sometimes we must hit the tsunami to discover what is best for us. It is in the recovery that we discover the most profound yet simple truths – our choices, our free will, our incredible ability to soar, despite the obstacles and soar we will to the light. That beacon is all that matters…..xxxx

  2. May 23, 2012 1:16 pm

    The things in life that seem the very worst, the times you feel you will never get through or survive, are those that give us insight, strength and spiritual understanding. In some ways they give us greater freedom and self awareness than we imagined possible, giving us wings to soar.

    Wishing you luck, love and courage on your journey.

  3. May 25, 2012 6:58 am

    Isn’t God good, Been through some traumatic times as well, lately. But God never let’s us down, never leaves or forsakes us and is stood with us when we think the fire is going to burn us. Praise you for sticking with it you will be truly blessed.

  4. June 13, 2012 1:24 pm

    You’ve said it so wonderfully. It’s always dark before the dawn, and while we desperately hope Oh! will have a change of heart, it’s best to move down the healthy path that you and your children need and deserve. Take care, see you soon

  5. marycheshier permalink
    February 16, 2013 10:52 pm

    Reblogged this on How 2 Be Green and commented:
    Love your site

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